Craving You
by Slash Fanatic
Summary: [Tidus&Yuna, Tidus&Wakka, Tidus?] Now that he's back, Tidus is overwelmed and confused about his feelings towards the two people that he loves most. Will he do something that he'll regret?
1. Default Chapter

Craving You

By Slash Fanatic

A/N: Hmmm…for some reason, I felt like writing an angst fic about Wakka and Tidus. O.O" Don't know why, I think I want to see if I could do it and pull it off. Let's see how this turns out. It takes place during/after the "Good Ending" of FFX-2. And I wanted to try a different writing style too, using character POV. ::crosses fingers:: Wish me luck.

Warnings: slash, AU, character POV, WIP

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to FFX-2. If I did, Wakka and Lulu wouldn't have hooked up and had a kid together. ()xxxxx ::foams at the mouth with rage::

"text" = dialogue

[text] = thoughts

= time/scene change

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{Tidus' POV}

I stretch lazily and realize I'm in the water. What the heck? I shouldn't be here…I was a dream, a creation by the fayth. But I won't think about that now! I'm back! Smiling at the thought of living again, I swim for the surface of the crystal blue water.

After breaking the surface, I take a look at my surroundings. [Besaid Island…I'll get to see everyone again…my friends…my crushes…] I sigh happily and float on my back on the cool refreshing water.

"I wonder how long I've been gone…the last thing I remember is reuniting with my dad…" I stare with much interest towards the bright afternoon sky. [Why did I come back? Is there a greater purpose for my being here?] Before I could contemplate this further, I hear a loud machina approaching, more than likely an airship of some sort.

I get off my back and swim around to see what it is. All I see is a red blur that's heading straight for me! Before I have the chance to panic and curse fate for bringing me back only to become road kill, it stops right above me. The gangplank opens and a familiar face comes out.

[Yuna? Is THAT really you…]

{In Besaid Village}

It's night time. The village bonfire is a blazing and everyone is celebrating. Everyone except me that is. I'm wallowing in self-pity at the moment.

Rikku tells me that she and this group of hers, The Gullwings, defeated another threat to Spira. Something that ended in "-gun." Well anyway, she was telling me that it had the power to destroy all humanity or something before she was distracted by this cute villager, whom I never noticed before, and bounded off after him.

Like I care. Well, it's not that I don't care. I'm just depressed right now. AND I'M NOT GOING TO CRY.

I'm sitting in a secluded area on the temple steps, just watching everyone and keeping to myself. Nothing has really changed in the surroundings, although the temple does seem eerily vacant now. But why do people have to change?

I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, and no one is here to comfort me. No one. Everyone seems different…with the exception of Rikku. I could feel my heart rate increase, my blood boiling, my breathe intake sharpening, as I'm thinking to myself.

Why…why did they get together!? They have a kid too! I was gone that long? Two years ago, Lulu was still trying to let go of the loss of Wakka's brother, Chappu, whom she loved. He had been killed by Sin. And I could of sworn Wakka didn't like her…I…I thought he liked me. WE FLIRTED DAMN IT! At least, I thought we did. Those moments we shared, alone at night, when we were lonely…You know what, forget it. I fucking hate you right now. Okay, no I don't. I'm sounding like a betrayed boyfriend.

Not only that, but Yuna has changed dramatically. I blame Rikku, I think they've been spending too much time together. Now Yuna is more…more "bubbly" to put it nicely. She's no longer the nice innocent summoner that I once knew. The person that would laugh and smile whenever we were together. Maybe she needed the change, I don't know. I was with her for 5 minutes until she started talking and socializing with everyone else in the village. Don't even talk to me, even though you supposedly searched for me this whole time. She seems to play to the crowd now and is currently in a "Singer" outfit, performing a merry tune. Is this the girl that I fell in love with? No, it's not.

Wakka. Yuna. I thought I knew you two. But I don't blame you. Life goes on, and your lives blossomed without me. But fuck, how could you two, the people that I love most, change on me? I was hoping to start a relationship with Yuna…but I don't think I'll pursue it now. I think she would much rather hunt a sphere of some sort. And Wakka…I was hoping you could help me through this chaos, like you did when we first met. You were my candle in the dark, guiding me through this surreal new life in Spira. But it looks like that light is extinguished now. And if me and Yuna didn't work out, you know, I was hoping maybe something would of happened between us. Be "more than bruddahs" as you would say. Looks like I need to search for other people to fantasize about.

I feel like an open wound and wipe a fresh tear off my face. Damn, I said I wasn't going to cry. But I can't help it. Did Rikku lend Wakka and Yuna her twin daggers? Cuz I feel like they've taken turns stabbing me in the back.

"Hey there bruddah, what's the long face for? You should be celebrating like everyone else, ya?" A warm, welcoming smile graces this man's face as he offers a nice jug of sake to me.

It's one of the Besaid Aurochs. I forgot his name, but he is quite the stud. He has flaming red hair, a mocha tanned body…just like Wakka. [STOP BROODING OVER SOMEONE YOU CAN'T HAVE!] I mentally slap myself.

"Yeah, I should be. Thanks." I smile back at him and snatch the jug from his hand. [I SO need some alcohol right now.] I start to devour the drink down, my sorrows with it. He chuckles and sits down next to me.

"I remember you…you were a Guardian of Yuna's, eh?" He grabs the sake from me and takes a swig.

"Yeah, I was." I take back the jug and continue drinking.

We continue to exchange the sake back and forth amongst our small talk.

"You know what? I think we're gonna need another couple of these things!" The blitzer exclaims to me, shaking the empty jug upside down. A few drops of liquid fell, proving that it was indeed empty.

"I wouldn't mind that!"

"I grab a few more for us to continue drinkin' and talkin' then." He rushes off, nearly stumbling on the temple steps. I stifle a laugh, but end up laughing harder.

Countless sake jugs lay waste around us. Me and this guy (I still haven't found out his name yet) have been chatting for a while now. No one else seems to pay any attention to me. Then again, I completely ignored Wakka when he approached me and tried to strike up a conversation. He wondered off like a lost, hurt puppy after that. Like I give a shit. He could go screw himself, or Lulu, for all I care. My only concern is this hottie sitting next to me, who is looking sexier and sexier with each passing moment.

"So what happened to ya? Haven't seen your cute self around here lately…"

"It's complicated." I feel so relaxed now. And flirtatious. Yet overwhelmed at the same time. So many mixed emotions right now. I want someone to make me FEEL better. I want some physical comfort. And this guy might be able to do just that.

I look into his eyes with lust. "But I don't want to think or talk about that now…" I lean in close to him, close enough to kiss him. I put a hand on his leg and slowly start to work my way up to his chest. He's moist with sweat, he must have been playing blitz ball earlier, which I'm not surprised. His muscles feel so solid, so chiseled. I hunger to taste them. I start to trace random designs on his well formed torso, brushing the back of my index finger all over his upper body.

"Whatever you want, I'm game." He says, his voice lighter than air, looking deep into my eyes.

"This is what I want." I plant a soft kiss to his lips and I set down the jug I was drinking from away from us. He doesn't fight me off. We slowly descend to the ground as we continue to make out heavily. We're not in the light of the bonfire, and no one is around to see us do this. Most of the villagers have all ready turned in for the night.

He breaks the lip lock and grins a drunken smile at me. "Let's get outtah here."

I nod in agreement.

"Follow me." He starts walking nonchalantly around the back of the temple. I follow, trying to look casual, clenching a jug of sake in my right hand.

I want someone…to take away this pain in my chest. I want someone to kiss me and make me feel better, to hold me and not let go. Even if the love isn't real. I want someone to make me feel like I belong here. Right now, I don't care who it is, I just want this. I need this. At least…I think I do…

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To be continued…

No Tidus! You're meant to be with Wakka! ::is a Wakka/Tidus shipper::

I hope that came out all right! Before anyone comments that Tidus is OOC, let me say something. How would you feel if you woke up after a two year slumber? I'd imagine I would feel and know everything as it were BEFORE I hibernated, you know what I mean? Tidus is in shock. So yeah, he's not handling things well. That was my intention and I'll stop rambling now.

R/R please. Thanks. :D


	2. Gratification Before Leaving Town

Ch.2: Gratification Before Leaving Town

A/N: Tidus is drunk. Forgive him, for he's a bit vulgar and will swear. Like a drunk would tend to do, I think. Anyway...

There is a lemon scene in this chapter, but I took it out due to site rules. So, if you are interested, go to my bio page and then to my website. You'll find the unedited version of this chapter there.

Warnings/Disclaimer: Read them in ch.1

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Botta. Somehow, as I drank more sake as I waited for his return, his name popped into my head. This resulted in me spitting out his name as soon as I remembered it, which was just a moment ago. I smile and wipe the spittle off my chin. Now I know the name of the man that's going to fuck me senseless, which is what I want right now. RIGHT NOW.

I'm standing in a jungle clearing behind Baaj Temple and getting anxious for his arrival. I look around, it looks like this place is pretty broken in; this must be a popular spot for people to hook up privately. I can feel goose bumps forming all over my bare skin. I want that stud to come back with the goods and warm me up. I want sex. I want Botta. I want him to heal me like Wakka never could. Or Yuna for that matter. I want him to make me forget the both of them so badly…where in hell is he!?!

Blegh. Yuna? How could I have fallen in love with that woman? I cringe at remembering her clothes. Who woulda thought that Yuna of all people would turn into a skank!? I sure as hell didn't think she would! Tellin me she loved me when I disappeared, whata fake. That kiss in Macalania Woods must'a meant nothing to her.

But I can tell Wakka hasn't changed. Other than the fact that he is a father…and that he hooked up with Lulu god damn it. That calls for another drink!

Ahhh…that hit the spot. What was I sayin? No matter, there he is! Finally!

Eventually, my drunken impatience is rewarded. I see him, smiling that intoxicating smirk that I recognize that all the Besaid blitzers seem to have, as he makes his way to me.

"Thought I'd get a blanket, make ting's more comfortable." He grins and spreads it on the flat ground. Then he comes to me and grabs me by the waist, wrapping his strong, wanting arms around me and kissing me with much intensity.

He breaks the kiss. Botta is still grinning so cutely, like he has a secret or something. Then he reaches into his pocket and pulls a little plastic bag with a small circular white pill inside it and shakes it in front of my eye sight and starts to chuckle.

I blink a couple of times. I have no clue what he's showing me.

Botta then proceeds to put the small bag in his left hand and then smashes both butts of his palms together with a quick forceful smash. Afterward, he starts to grind them together. He shows me the bag and what was in it is now a fine grounded powder. Botta grabs the sake jug from me and then pours the contents of the little bag into it. Next, he covers the mouth of the jug with his palm and shakes it hard, mixing whatever that powder was into the sake.

"Wanna sip?"

"Uh…sure, why not?"

I take a gulp of the tainted sake and hand him back the jug. Whatever that shit he put in it was, I can feel it rush through my system within seconds. It's so fucking intense!

My mind is racing, along with my heart. God, what the fuck is happening to me? I collapse onto my knees and grab my head.

I can see this woman, and this little girl. I assume she's her child. I don't recognize where they're at, I just see that they are in a field. A blur of color, greens and blues splash and swirl in my mind. The little girl is giggling and laughing. She looks so happy, and all she's doing is picking wild flowers. The mom smiles warmly as she looks at her daughter. More colors take over my mind, and for some reason I can hear the sigh of a pyrefly as I regain control of my head.

Botta is kneeling at my side.

"Now that was a mind fucker." I'm covered in sweat, I realize. I feel like I've been stunned by a Thunder spell, my whole body feels electrified! And I also feel insanely happy, almost giggly. Like that little girl that I saw in my mind…

"Twas Pyre-crystal. Pyreflies sometimes leave it behind, but it's hard to come across. What you experienced was a memory and the emotions of that pyrefly. I had some stashed for a special occasion like this." Botta tells me.

"Whoa…intense." So me coming back is special to him? Nah, he must mean the celebration of Vegnagun's destruction.

"Crazy shit don'tcha think?" Botta then takes a swig of the spiked sake. His eyes close. A chemical induced grin spreads gradually across his face and I see his body shiver in delight.

A few seconds later, he opens his eyes and looks into mine as he puts down the sake jug.

"Lets fuck."

* * *

My ass hurts. My dick hurts. My head hurts. There's not a place on my body that doesn't feel sticky. I feel like there's a boulder attached to my head. But despite all that, I feel wonderful as I'm held in Botta's arms.

He's hugging me so tight, I can feel his breath ruffle my hair. He's still asleep, I'm sure. I can't help but smile. I'm grateful to him, he did make me feel better. A LOT better. I don't know if what I did last night was mature, but fuck that. His weight against me, his strong arms holding me, his body loving me, was what I wanted. Is that selfish of me?

I ease myself out of his embrace, trying not to disturb him from his slumber. He stirs a bit as I peel myself off him. I freeze and hold my breath. He turns over and mumbles something incoherent. Phew. He didn't wake up.

I grab my boxer briefs from the ground and put them on. Then my shorts, followed by the rest of my Abes uniform. I run my hand through my hair. Fuck, I feel like gravity is playing blitz ball with my brain. Damn gravitational pull on my sensitive head.

I know I'm going against my hang over here, but I must leave. Quickly. Without anyone knowing. It's better that way…

I peer down at Botta, whom is still naked but covered up partially by the blanket we slept in. I blow him a kiss. Thanks Botta. You comforted me last night when no one else wanted to. This is goodbye. I proceed to make my way around to the front of the temple as best as I can. My body isn't exactly cooperating with me right now.

Fuck, I'm walking a bit bow legged. Need to walk it off…OH SHIT! There's Wakka talking to Yuna! I duck behind a temple pillar, the fast movement hurting my damn head again. They're standing in front of the old Crusader's Lodge. Their voices drift to my ears but I don't risk taking a peek from my hiding place.

"So you're gonna take off n' search for more spheres? Without Tidus after all, eh?"

"We searched all over the main roads and the beaches but we couldn't find him. I'm sure he's okay. You know Tidus, he's probably playing blitz ball somewhere…"

"Yeah, blitz ball…right." Wakka sounded like he knew something that Yuna didn't.

"Well anyway, we have some sphere waves coming from Bikanel Desert, so I need to leave. The rest of the Gullwings are waiting for me. Bye Wakka, it was nice seeing you again."

"Laters Yuna. Didja say good bye to Lu?"

"Of course. Don't teach the baby how to blitz too soon!" Her voice is distant.

"How bout' before he can talk!?" Wakka chuckles.

It was quiet a few moments after that. I don't hear any rustling from the village, I think it's still early in the day. Wakka was always the first one in the group in Yuna's pilgrimage to wake up…

Then I hear someone kick the sand and let out a frustrated sigh. I peer around the pillar, to see Wakka walk off to his and Lulu's hut and then enter.

"Hmm…wonder what's troubling him?" It could be anything, Wakka could be really stubborn sometimes. I wonder if he was concerned about me…

I shake my head to take the thought out of my head and abruptly stop myself with my hands. I keep forgetting to not move my head so fast or suffer the consequences of my migraine.

I must stop wanting Wakka. And Yuna. Wakka is no longer available. I must accept that. And Yuna is a chocobo of a different color now. A bubblegum pink color. Blegh, no thanks, I much rather chew on something else. Gum! I wish they had gum in this Spira, it would take away this nasty taste in my mouth. I miss that about Zanarkand. I will not explain the scene between me and everyone else on Yuna's pilgrimage of me trying to explain what candy was.

Well, I better head off to the Item Shop. They should have the schedule for boats coming too and from Besaid in there. And so I could make some purchases, I still have gil leftover from Yuna's pilgrimage! What luck. Man, I remember fighting Sin, Seymour, my father, the Dark Aeons, and Yu Yevon as if it were yesterday…hey! It was yesterday! For only me though apparently.

I don't want to be seen by anyone, particularly Wakka, so I head around the back of all the tents and hide in the brush of the jungle until I reach the very last hut. I go inside.

My entry doesn't surprise the young woman kneeling at her "business counter."

"Well hello and good mornin to you! How may I help you?"

"Um, yeah, do you have the schedule for the fairy boats?"

"Yes sir, right here." She takes a look at a piece of paper that's on her counter. "The S.S. Liki departs for Kilika in 20 minutes in fact. It's an early bird boat, hardly anyone ever takes it. Good for privacy though."

"Thanks."

"No worries. Is that all? Would you like to buy some items for your trip maybe?"

"Yeah, sure, do you happen to have a sphere camera by any chance?"

"Yes we do! I got some from a trade merchant awhile back but haven't been able to sell many. They're a little expensive, but of great quality! Very clear video, I assure you."

"I'll take one then. And 10 Potions. Do you have any weapons?"

"The only weapon I have to offer is a normal blitz ball, a courtesy of the Aurochs. Sorry for the lack of selection."

"That's okay, I'll take it. I need some sort of weapon to defend myself."

"Yes sir." She's silent for a moment as she tallies up the amount for the goods in her head. "Your total comes out to 1250 gil."

I take out my wallet, count out the gil, and pay for my purchases.

"Thanks you, have a pleasant day."

I smile, nod at her, and then leave the grass hut. Good, no one is outside that recognizes me.

* * *

"Can you please do me this favor? I have a boat to catch! Here, you can have all this gil! Just please deliver that for me." I give a handful of money to this little native boy in hopes he'll do what I ask of him.

"Please. It's complicated, I can't do it myself. Thanks."

I run off, kicking up sand as I sprint to the boat.

The dark little boy takes a look at the small video sphere in one hand and then shifts his gaze to the gil in his other palm. He shrugs then jogs to the beaten path to his village.

* * *

"For me? Who's it from?"

"I dunno. But he was really tall n' had blonde hair n' had blue eyes…"

"Tidus! Tidus gave you this!?"

The boy shrugged. "I'm gonna go show mama that I'm rich!" He took off and left Wakka in a stupefied state.

"Why couldn't he jus'give me this n'person…" He turned on the small vid-sphere.

A picture of the lagoon leading to Besaid Village is shown, the part over the cliff.

"Hi Wakka. This is Tidus. Well, you probably figured that out by now. There's some things that I want you to know…but I'm too embarrassed to tell you in person."

The sphere camera is then set on the grass at an angle and Tidus appears on the screen. He walks a few paces in front of it, his back to the camera.

"I remember this place…you pushed me in here the first day I met you, you punk!" He chuckles.

"I miss those days…when we used to play around. When you used to grab me in a headlock and give me a noogie. Those were good times. Those were special times. I wish things could still be like that…"

A few moments pass in silence.

"I wish I was in control of my own destiny…but then again, if I was in control of it, I wouldn't have been taken from my Zanarkand. And I wouldn't have met you guys: Yuna, Rikku, Lulu, Kimahri, the Aurochs, everyone that I befriended here."

He turns around and looks directly at the camera, the white of his eyes tinted pink.

"And I ultimately wouldn't have fallen for you Wakka…"

Wakka's heart felt like it leapt out of his chest.

"I hope you aren't mad at me. I never got around to ask you if being gay was wrong in the teachings of Yevon, I was scared that you would reject me, and not be my friend anymore. Though, in the end, Yevon's teaching turned out to be…well, y'know. Lies."

The blonde blushed a bit.

"Anyway, I staid silent on the pilgrimage and didn't pursue more than a friendship with you. Which was hard, cause you have to admit, me and you were a little too "friendly" at times. There were so many occasions that I wanted to kiss you, or that I wanted to wrestle you just so you would end up giving me headlock and I could feel you against me…but that won't be happing between us anymore, huh? Things are different now."

Tidus wiped his eyes and shifted his gaze to a spot on the ground rather than the camera.

"I ultimately knew at the end that I couldn't be with you. I was essentially brought to this Spira to perform a task. Life is so cruel. It doesn't give you a map to follow. I'd like to think we choose our own paths…but what is mine?"

Tidus turns to face the lagoon again. "I wonder…what would have become of us, Wakka, if I hadn't faded away two years ago…"

An uneasy silence follows for a couple of seconds.

"Well anyway, I came back. Somehow. Fate seems to like to make my life a living hell. I have to live with the fact that I'm supposed to be dead, back when Zanarkand was destroyed many years to you all. I was supposed to accept my fate and be this hero and help save Spira, when I didn't want to do. I still can't believe Yuna decided, of her own free will, to be a summoner. She was willing to forfeit her life so everyone could have some peace, even if it wasn't guaranteed or for long. I'm not as strong as her. I know I wouldn't have been able to handle it all if you and everyone else weren't by my side. Life is so full of surprises, isn't it? I couldn't be more surprised when I came back now…"

Tidus breathes in deeply and continues to talk.

"I'm really happy that you settled down with Lulu, Wakka. Ignore my tears, y'know me, I'm such the cry baby. I know you will raise your son well. You had always struck me as the "father figure" type. Just don't let Lulu make him too quiet and scary when he grows up! I'm kidding. I just hope…you are happy with her Wakka."

He exhales a dragged out sigh.

"Forgive me for leaving in this manner. I just…can't seem to face you in person anymore. When I look at you…my heart aches. My eyes tear. My fists clench in anger. I don't like these feelings toward you. It's not like we were together, and that's assuming you share the same feelings about me. So I'm leaving Besaid, in search for my own happiness, for my own place to belong. On my own, without anyone's help. It's time for me to face reality head on, now that I've been given a chance to live my life to the fullest."

The blonde turns around and faces the camera.

"I hope, one day, I can see you again Wakka." Tidus' face is flushed and he is crying, but ironically, he appears happy.

"Have a good life." He goes up to the sphere camera and soon the video cuts off.

Wakka is crying and sniffling hard. He drops the small vid-sphere and covers his hands with his face.

Some people are already walking around the village, doing things of their own business. These people try to ignore Wakka and his obvious distraught, but can't help looking at him with concern. Only a few people have witnessed him cry once before, and that was when he had received the news that his brother, Chappu, had died in action as a Crusader.

Hidden crimson eyes look at the man sobbing behind the flap of his home. Lulu had witnessed the whole thing and overheard all that Tidus had to say. Her penetrating eyes turn into a glare.

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**To be continued.**

Leave a review please, thanks. :3


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